My mom (yes, my mom) sent me a chinese joke. I never get tired of political humour… XD
The Joke (In Mandarin):
世界是一个班级， 美国是班长 中国就是团支书 狂经典
1、美国 班长，学习好，家里有钱，人高马大，好打架,经常欺负别人。班里没几个人敢惹他。 和副班长关系不好。
2、俄罗斯 副班长，成绩优异，全班最高大，上学期光和班长顶着干。后来家里出事：分家！现在做事很消极，但在班级里有一定的影响力。
3、中国 团支书。幼儿园学习成绩很好。小学时由于体质差常被欺负，没事爱吹牛，由副班长罩着。
4、英国 学习委员，学习成绩好。家里也很富。班长的跟屁虫，做事没主见，啥都听班长的。前些天和班长把伊拉克打了一顿。
5、瑞士 美术课代表，班花。学习成绩好，清高。
6、奥地利 音乐课代表。
7、阿富汗 职务无。不爱学习。身材矮小。上学期被副班长打，班长帮忙付医药费。前几天把班长家的最高的两个家具砸了，被班长揍个半死，现在失忆中、
8、伊拉克 无职务。学习差。但人高马大，上学期排全班第四。嘴硬，上学期欺负同桌被群殴。前些天被班长和学习委员冲进他家揍个稀巴烂。
9、印度 好玩电脑，成了电脑课代表。经常和同桌巴基斯坦为一块课桌吵架。
10、巴基斯坦 职务无。成绩一般。和团支书关系不错，经常和印度吵架。 1
11、德国 班级活跃分子，人高马大，擅长数理化。有野心，由于上学打了2架所以现在暂无职务。但认错态度较好。
12、日本 无职位，成绩不错。思想品德很{巨}差。上学期刚被班长和团支书等人揍。现在还惦记着团支书家的鱼缸。)
13、越南 无职位。人品有问题,瘦弱。上学期被班长揍，幸好有副班长和团支书撑腰。后又挑衅团支书，被狂揍。
14、朝鲜 无职位。有个性。和团支书关系好。近期和班长闹矛盾，班长扬言要揍他。’
15、韩国，无职务，品行比日本还差，喜欢偷团支书东西，偷完了还不知廉耻拿出来炫耀。由班长罩着。
The Joke, translated:
The World is a classroom. United States is the Class president. China is the chairman.
1. United States, President. Good grades, upperclass. Most built in the class. Loves to fight, and bullies other students. Not alot of students stands up to him. His relationship with the Vice President is abysmal.
2. Russia, Vice President. Very high grades. Tallest in the class. Had a fight with the President last semester, but then things at home lead to his family being separated. Right now he’s rather quiet, but he has a certain influence.
3. China, Chairman. Genius in kindergarten, but got bullied a lot because of his small structure. Likes to brag when he’s bored. The Vice President protects him.
4. United Kingdom, Academics Representative. Good grades, rich upper class family. Class tag-along. Doesn’t really have opinions, listens to the President for everything. Beat up Iraq with the President a few days ago.
5. Switzerland, Visual Arts Representative. Prettiest girl in class. Good grades, high class. Extremely refined.
6. Austria, Music Representative.
7. Afganistan, regular student. Hates studying, scrawny. Got beaten up badly by the Vice President last semester, and the President helped to pay for his medical bills. A few days ago he broke two tallest pieces of furniture in the Presidents house. After being beaten up half to death by the President, he is suffering from amnesia.
8. Iraq, regular student. Horrible grades, but is tall and built. Fourth tallest out of the whole class last semester. Irrationally vocal, last semester he got ganged up on for bullying his desk buddy. The President and the Academics Representative stormed his house and beat the living crap out of him.
9. India, Information Technology representative. Loves to play on the computer. Has frequent squabbles with his desk buddy over desk space.
10. Pakistan, regular student. Average grades, good relations with the Chairman. Squabbles with India over desk space.
11. Germany, regular student. Participates actively in class and is serious about school. Very well built, he is good at scientific/math studies. He has a wild side. He was on the student council, but was kicked out when he started two riots. He is good at accepting full responsibility.
12. Japan, regular student. Good grades. Has some (very) questionable thoughts sometimes. Got beaten up by the Chairman and others last semester. Now he often reminesces about the aquarium in the Chairman’s house.
13. Vietnam, regular student. Has some questionable morals. Very frail. Got into a fight with the President last semester. Lucky for him he had the support of the Chairman and Vice President. Then he went to pick a fight with the Chairman, and got his ass handed to him.
14. North Korea, regular student. Isolationist. Good relations with the Chairman. The president and him has been butting heads recently, and the President announces he’s going to kick North Korea’s ass…
15. South Korea, regular student. Thoughts even more questionable than Japan’s. Likes to steal from the Chairman’s house, which he then shamelessly shows it off. Protected by the President.
I had to change a few things here and there for it to make sense. For example, 班长 does not translate into ‘President’, it translates into ‘battalion leader’. The Chinese classroom has an interesting system: there will be a ‘battalion leader’ who will be in charge when the teacher is away, and a ‘vice-batallion leader’ to help out the ‘battalion leader’ when he needs it. Then there’ll be representatives for every subject and they’ll be responsible for everything that happens in that class. There are also some stupid titles such as ‘hygenics representative’ and ‘lunch representative’… more often than not, the class is so big that they have to split them up into even smaller groups, resulting in ‘platoon leaders’ and ’sub-platoon leaders’…
Yeah it’s really communist sounding, isn’t it?
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