The Sun is the Giver of Life

 

Yukio Hatoyama, newly elected Prime Minister of Japan

On Wednesday, September 16, 2009, Yukio Hatoyama took office as Japan’s new Prime Minister, ending 15 years of the Liberal Democrats (redundant?) Party’s rule. I’m sure that, going forward, Hatoyama and his Democratic Party of Japan (is this the equivalent of Democrats vs. Libertarians? I’m so confused by the names) will prevent future chaos and outbreak in Japan’s parliamentary discussions:

 

 

While the Japanese Parliament makes the British Parliament look like a tea party, that’s not even the craziest thing to hit Japan. That title belongs to his wife, Miyuki Hatoyama. (Ironically enough, her husband’s nickname is “the alien” because of his beautiful eyes). Here are a few of Mrs. Japan’s claims:

1)       She traveled to Venus in a UFO

2)      She eats the sun

3)      She says Tom Cruise used to be Japanese

Let’s analyze these, shall we?

Travelling to Venus

She claims that, while she was sleeping, her soul left her body and travelled in a triangular UFO to Venus. This apparently happened during the 1970s. Hmm, an actress from the 1970s that travelled to Venus? I believe that she needed some assistance for that. She goes on to say that she told her ex-husband this (key word “ex”) and that he didn’t understand. No, crazy lady, I think he understood PERFECTLY!

Eating the Sun

 During an interview after her husband was announced to be the future prime minister, she claims that she eats the Sun. This begs the question: how exactly does one eat the Sun? Do you put it on a sandwich? Can you cook the Sun? Or do you just drink it? No, that’s too simple. She goes on to reach out towards the Sun and pull some kind of a parcel towards her mouth. Eating the air she goes “yum, yum, yum.”

Knowing the Japanese Tom Cruise

She claims to have known Tom Cruise as a Japanese man in a past life. She claims that, when she sees him (I’d say now, IF she sees him) she will say “nice to see you,” and he will understand. Honestly, this does not surprise, on either end of the conversation. I mean, ever since his bad war horrors, Tom Cruise hasn’t quite been the same. I mean, have you seen this guy? He’s so crazy and short, Nicole Kidman gave him the heave-ho. But at least now we know that he loves Katie Holmes, his current victim (which also doesn’t surprise me, she has weird teeth). I can see it now: Cruise! Hatoyama! Mission: Impossible – Sanity!

(Editor’s comment: I, unfortunately, did not come across any videos of the new Mrs. Japanese Prime Minister. If you find one, post it in the comments section, and I will gladly post it on the blog, giving you the credit!)